April Fool's Day Gone Wrong

Jesus Beltran was a foot taller than me. His heavy, adult-like frame didn’t belong in our seventh grade classroom. These physical discrepancies, along with my egotistical sense for the dramatic, were my undoing.

It was April Fool’s Day, 1988. Jesus and I headed to class. We had decided to stage a fake fight in Mr. Willis’ history class for April Fool’s Day. Mr. Willis was a young and naive twenty-something with pale white skin and red hair. The perfect target.

Jesus and I had a plan. I’d throw a wad of paper at him several desks over, hitting him in the side of the head. He’d get angry, stand up, walk in my direction, and then we’d pretend to fight by wrestling each other to the ground and roll around a bit. Once Mr. Willis pulled us apart, we’d both look up with smiles and say, “Happy April Fool’s Day!”

Here’s what really happened. I’d say we had nothing less than a communication error. I threw the paper. I missed Jesus by ten feet. He stood up and came over. I stood up and moved towards him. Jesus proceeded to clock my block off. He decked me with a full blow. His heavy hand fit well into the curves of my cheek and eye bones. He lunched into me after the sucker punch and desks were all over the place. Our classmates gave us some room, some to watch and others to save their own skin.

Within seconds, Mr. Willis pulled us apart. His face was flushed red, just like his hair. Jesus was still worked up and slightly out of control, but Mr. Willis had a hold on him. Half-dazed, I looked up and said to Mr. Wills, “Happy April Fool’s Day!”

Unfortunately, the fool was me!