Crossing Random Stories

By Steven D

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Elope Online

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Sign Up Today! Our options of online-interfaith ordained persons can make your online eloping process easier than even going to Vegas. We w...
Saturday, June 18, 2011

Damp Dollar Bills

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Remember when we were kids? We put a dollar bill in our shoes between sole and sock. Sometimes we had so many bills that it created a li...
Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Worst Best Dream

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Have you ever had a dream you won a million dollars, but then you woke up? So disappointing.

Text Messages

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Have you ever gotten a text message that didn’t sound right? You know. You weren’t sure if it was meant for you or someone else? I’m talk...
Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Water Balloon Launchers

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I remember one time in high school when some friends of mine had a water balloon launcher. Now a water balloon launcher is like a big rubbe...
Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Bathroom Stall Insanity

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Ever been sitting in a stall and the other person leaves, but turns the lights out? Only so long before you start laughing uncontrollably. A...
Monday, September 6, 2010

Java 2:12

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As the Good Book says in Java 2:12, "A person who drinketh coffee diverts an hour of sleep, but a person who creates and serves espress...
Thursday, August 26, 2010

Near Collisions on Campus

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ASU is out of control. Almost as busy as New York City. Collisions happen all around me, but I just pretend I'm Neo and can see everythi...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Peace of Mind

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I just found out that I get up to a $1,000 bail bond with my AAA membership. Not only is it peace of mind if I need my car towed, but also p...
Monday, August 9, 2010

Ambush. Reverse Ambush. Double-Reverse Ambush. Police Dispatched.

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Ambush. I never knew my after-work evening would turn into an ambush, reverse-ambush, double-reverse-ambush, with a dispatch of police to ca...

Better Than the Real Thing

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Remember movies before animation got better than reality? They used to have real actors. I heard Pixar is now putting real actors into some ...
Friday, July 30, 2010

My Order at Starbucks

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My order at Starbucks today: I wanna Double-Carmel Kimono Dragon Frap, no whip, quarter half-pipe 720 with three endo's on the side. Wai...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Accessing the Internet

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Remember when we had to use a smart phone to access the internet? Heck, remember when we had to use a computer to access the internet? Now ...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Microwave Ovens

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I need a microwave that has two buttons: Timer. Power. In the meantime, I usually end up hitting the 'popcorn' button just to get th...
Monday, July 19, 2010

Power Up

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Starting-up a new session of teaching for Summer 2010 is like me being hamster trying to power up a semi-truck. Can you picture it?

Extra Curricular Activity - Class

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Teaching English to International Students during the World Cup is an interesting experience. Class sort of becomes an extra-curricular acti...

Nice to Meet You

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‎"Nice to meet you. I'm your new neighborhood." - Student

Dialogue Activities

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Spent all day Saturday reading a book called "Dialogue Activities: Exploring spoken interaction in the language class." Right now,...

Trash Talk

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In my World Cup bracket, I have USA going all the way to the Semi-Finals. If a miracle occurs and they do go to the semi-finals, then I'...

When Things Get Tense

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I don't know, just fly casual. -Han to Chewy upon entering Imperial Cruiser vicinity

Legitimate Vinegar Drinking

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Just drank my first sip of "Bragg Organic Apple Cider Vinegar All Natural Drink with a drop of honey". Seriously. It is diluted ap...

Dyslexia

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I don't have dyslexia, except when I try to write the word 'dyslexia'. Who ever came up with that spelling? "Kind of like s...

Lois Lane

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You're holding me? Who's holding you? -Lois Lane.

4-N-1 Shampoo

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Just bought 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, bodywash. Looking for 4-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, bodywash, toothpaste if anyone's seen anythi...

Writing for My Students

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Sometimes I dream of writing a major book like "The Shack" or "Wild at Heart" or even a novel. But, the other day I real...

Rotary Telephones

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Brought a rotary telephone into the classroom the other day for a couple of "phone message" activities. Showed them how to dial up...

Present-Perfect Meets Simple-Present

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Constructed a couple "present-perfect-tense" meets "simple-present-tense" activities at work today. I know most of you w...
Friday, May 21, 2010

Pac Man 30th Anniversary

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PacMan's 30th anniversary today. Miss standing in line, waiting to play PacMan at the arcade. Put the quarter up on top of the video m...
Thursday, May 20, 2010

Linguistic Efficiency

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A roommate of mine doesn't pronounce every part of three syllable words. Think about it. The time we could save by axing that third syll...
Thursday, April 29, 2010

Baby Names

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I've been brainstorming new children's-name spellings: M1ch0el, R^ndy, and R!ck. Maybe Je$$ica for a girl. Could add a question mark...
Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Cassette Tape Answering Machines

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What I liked about the cassette-tape or digital answering machine was that you didn't have to listen to "Please leave a message aft...
Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Beyond Deer-in-the Headlights

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Try marketing dry humor to a bunch of international students learning English. It's like beyond deer-in-the-headlights.

Eccentric Instructors

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Students randomly smile while I'm teaching. I must be overly animated and random like some of the eccentric professors I had in college....

Getting Back to a Normal Schedule

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You know how most people start waking up earlier as they get older? 6am, 5am, then 4:30am. Well, I'm starting to move in that direction ...

Me Grammar

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I decided I have my own grammar. Me textbook and I not speak language the same and who my students learning incorrect grammar. Or, maybe the...

Just Ask the DM

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Remember when human beings were the best chess players? Remember life before the universal translator? I mean, people had to actually learn ...
Monday, April 12, 2010

Frequency Adverbs

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My student's answer to a sentence completion activity focused on frequency adverbs was "Mr. Dunham occasionally works hard."
Saturday, April 10, 2010

Singlehood

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One of the nice things about being single is I'm never really alone. It's always Me, Myself, and I.
Friday, April 9, 2010

Crashing Newsboys

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In college my friend and I walked by the Newsboys charter bus on the UofA campus. He said, "Let's knock on the bus door." The ...
Thursday, April 8, 2010

Hammerogatives

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In teaching a vocabulary class I've realized that my mental lexicon is primarily influenced by the likes of Alanis Morissette and MC Ham...

Palm Pilots

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Remember Palm Pilots? It was so cutting edge.

Keyboards

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Keyboards. So old school.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Imaging and Mental Flash

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I love listening to my grandpa because he tells me about when they used to read text on computer screens or even used to read books that the...

Back in the Days of the Shuttle Craft

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Feeling a little nostalgic today. Remember when we had to use shuttle crafts before there was transporter technology? I mean, we had to take...

Life Before A.I.

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What life was like before A.I.? I heard that a long time ago, they had this thing called Google. You used your fingers to push buttons and t...
Thursday, March 18, 2010

/ph/ Revolution

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Who ever came up with the "ph" spelling for Steven? I know it's Greek, but I just don't get it. I'm talkin' a whol...

Nerf Football

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My friend received a Nerf Football at his 10th birthday party. I was there. We formed teams and took snaps. Five front yards became a footba...

Antique Legs

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Hiked Syphon Draw this weekend in the Superstitions to the top of Flat Iron. Really sore today. Talking to a friend of mine I said, and I...

Childhood Dairy Queen

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My childhood Dairy Queen decided to shut down. I don't think it's allowed to do that.

International Electric Slide

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Just finished a graduation ceremony at Rustler's Rooste in Phoenix for our Advanced ESL students. I don't really know what to say ab...

More Peter Pan

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I'm reading Peter Pan right now. The (non-Disney) original version is rather rough-around-the-edges. Tinker Bell tricks one of the Lost ...

Maybe American's aren't so Bad Afterall

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I am surprised at the number of comments I receive from my students about how nice and helpful Americans are when they arrive to the U.S. Th...

Undercover

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My students don't realize that my combinations of red and blue on the overhead are a subtle attempt to embed Wildcat aesthetics into Sun...

Nephew

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Time at the park with my nephew. Football. Soccer. Chinese food. Quietly watching golfers at the driving range. Duck feeding. Rock hopping o...

Homework

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I keep forgetting that if I give them a lot of homework, then I have to grade a lot of homework.

The Original Peter Pan

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I'm reading the original Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie, written in 1911. I think he might have been on something. I mean, come on... Wendy...

Technological Advances in Communication

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I'm not so sure what I think about the impersonal nature of the advances we've seen in technological communication lately. I mean we...

Texting While Walking

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I don't know how many people I've had near collisions with on campus who are "texting-while-talking". If we weren't on...

Skate Traffic

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I forgot they cruise around on skateboards so much on college campuses. I guess I'll have to break out the old cruiser, if I can find it...

Point of Reference

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In some cultures, the North East corner is actually the South West corner. Depends on your point of reference. Are you standing in the inter...

Frenzy

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My mind has been in such a frenzy right that I tried to unlock my desk drawer earlier with my USB flash drive. Sort of like putting the milk...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Stud Muffin

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I just heard a mom walking down the hallway say to her 3 or 4 year old son, "Are you coming stud-muffin ?" I'm all for male a...
Saturday, January 23, 2010

My Encounter with Santa

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One Friday night during college, I remember that Santa Claus (actually a college student dressed for a Christmas party) walked into my room ...
Friday, January 22, 2010

Teaching with Benefits

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An old tutoring student of mine from Somalia asked me about whether or not I wanted to teach overseas in Saudi Arabia or the Arab Gulf where...

Library Reseach for the Elderly

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I overheard an older woman asking a librarian if there was a way she could avoid using a computer in order to do her nursing research. His r...
Thursday, January 21, 2010

Last Name, First Name Antics

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Deng Deng is a tutoring student of mine with the same first and last name. While helping him to fill out a form, I inadvertently gave him s...
Sunday, January 17, 2010

Mr. Rogers in My Neighborhood

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When I was very young, I swore up and down that I had seen Mr. Rogers at an apartment complex around the corner emptying his trash one day. ...

Laser Door Knobs

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When I was little, I thought door knobs could shoot laser beams at me as I walked past them, so I had to move quickly from room to room.
Saturday, January 16, 2010

Peanut Butter and Jelly

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I have two friends. Their names are Peanut Butter and Jelly. Actually, that's their nicknames. Their real names are Jesus and Angel. ...

The Game Must Go On

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My friend received a Nerf Football at his 10th birthday party. I was there. We formed teams and took snaps. Five front yards became a footba...
Friday, January 15, 2010

Squaw Peak '90 - '91

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When I was 16 years old, I could ride seven miles from my house to Squaw Peak Mountain, hike 1.2 miles to the top, and ride back home. Even...

Tower Plaza '86 - '87

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When I was 12 years old, my friends and I used to ride our bikes and scooters to Tower Plaza, a mall about 5 miles from our homes. Mostly j...

Grammar Masochist

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I get all excited when books like "Grammar Practice Activities" arrive in the mail. Go ahead. Call me a masochist.
Thursday, January 14, 2010

Writing Cursive

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My freshman English teacher in high school required us to write our papers in cursive. Seems strange, thinking back on it. Needless to say, ...
Saturday, January 9, 2010

Bachelor Parties: A Run Down

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Matt: Dressed in a cow outfit (complete with utters) and taken to Mill Ave. at ASU. Played Laser Tag afterwards. Of course the bachelor lo...

At the Library and Naked

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Checking out a book at the library these days feels so... well, naked. Sort of like the feeling of not wearing a seat belt. Sort of like t...

Door Knobs and Freezer Doors

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Three years old must have been a rough age for me. It's about that time that we are roughly the height of doorknobs and certain types of...
Friday, January 8, 2010

Chicken Hawk

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In my house, we have chickens that lay eggs for us. They lay about 3 to 7 eggs a day. They have a decent amount of space in their coop. KF...
Thursday, January 7, 2010

Movie to Dream to Taste-buds

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Watched "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" last night. Had a dream that I was at this rally where a young actor was inviting the...
Wednesday, January 6, 2010

January 1st

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Question: "Have you ever forgotten a friend's birthday?" My student's answer: "No, I haven't forgotten a friend...

Donkey Driver

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In the mountains of Pakistan, a man once said to me, "This is Mohammed. He is the donkey driver." Sure enough, he drove the donkey...

Get the Heck Outta There

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In a large city in southern Iraq, a man once said to me, "This man you are talking to likes Saddam." The man smiled at me and left...

AK-47's in Iraq

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Taking a nap one time in my home in Iraq. Start hearing the sounds of machine guns in my neighborhood. Then, machine guns everywhere. Hundre...

The Mountains of Pakistan

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In the mountains of Pakistan, I walked up towards a campfire. A huge explosion ripped from the flames. I cringed and curled sideways into a ...

They Look So Cute

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Okay. So, I put on a size 7 today. I'm normally a size 8. No, not women's jeans. I'm past that phase. That's so 2003. I'...

Funny Statement But True Observeration

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One of my students wrote the following. Note the last sentence. It is touching because it is truer now. No longer a mask. "I go to scho...

The Linguist in Me

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I like using singular "they", "them", and "their". The English language needed a gender neutral alternative to...

Stu Tracey and The Weathermen

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NOVEMBER 28, 2009: Drove truck today with A/C on. Wore a T-Shirt. Could'a wore shorts. Unusual, even for Phoenix standards. When I was y...

Nimbility

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Before cell phones and caller ID, everyone in the family rushed to answer the rotary or push-button telephone to see who was calling. 350 po...

A Little Behind

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I don't keep up with the news these days. We could be invading Australia and I wouldn't know it. Obama's still president, right?

Seriously.

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Picked up some pink, ladies flip flops at Walmart. Seriously.

The Utopia of an ESL Student

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My ESL student wrote in a fiction story about a Utopian island-country, "There are almost 2,500 people in 'Freeland'. They work...

Agua Net Memoirs

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In Junior High, I took the school bus. Back in the mid to late 80's, Agua Net hairspray was the big thing. Hair stood at least 3 to 6 in...

Full Load

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Stopped this morning on a major thoroughfare to wait for a school bus in front of a housing unit that must have had a lot of kids. It was li...

Decreasing Reading Levels

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I'm reading "Ricki Ricotta and the Mighty Robot" at the 3rd or 4th grade level. For some reason, my reading level keeps decrea...

Kickball Memoirs

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Okay. Remember those times playing kickball in grade school when the kid with the loose shoe would kick the ball, and then it promptly flew ...

Walking Up to a Giant's Front Door

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'It takes some nerve to walk up and knock on a giant's door.' ~C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair. I think this is the understatement ...

Steven - Ruler of the Universe

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Sometimes I wish I could be in charge of the universe. Things might be better than they are, right? But, I can't even balance my checkbo...

Trail Mix

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Stayed in a cabin with friends this weekend. Work projects at a church camp. I wake up in the morning and my friend says, "Does anyone ...
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